Things to clear up:

4800 credit card bill
800 lenscrafters bill
600 that I owe my parents for rent

abandonment issues
need for love
God - am I really living the life I think I am?
Addictions... too many to name, too destructive to care...
weight - maybe start eating again??
living arangements - wtf am I doing up here??

I'm confused, and overwhelmed, and sad. Maybe not the best time to focus on this crap....